My problem with this whole GED thing is my whole college fun thing. My mom worked so hard to built it up for all 3 of us. My sisters both took the GED so their funds floated to mine. Fuck all of my health issues. I could’ve worked harder, fought more. Probably take more pills to make me better. Now it seems too late. Once that money is released I feel like my sister will jump on my mom for it. She is one person I can honestly say I despise. Her greed is just too much. She’s selfish. My mom gives in to her because she’s annoying. She doesn’t want a job, doesn’t want to go to school, but wants money and everything handed to her. You have to earn your right to live, asshole. I love you, but work at something. Have a reason for being. NOT MY POINT OF THIS BLOG. My point is, that I’m weak. Fuck it all. I only have myself to blame for this.

We have different views on relationships, and I see that clearly. I just sometimes wonder what you think of me because I’m pretty sure I do almost everything you hate. You are my best friend, I support you in anything you do even if I don’t agree with it. Well, you haven’t really ever done something I don’t agree with, honestly.. but if the time ever came, I’d watch you do your thing and strut your stuff. I’m not saying you’re a late bloomer, I understand that you just haven’t found a worthy suitor. Just.. some of us don’t value ourselves as high. Not all of us have the brains and wonderfulness to hold us up. I don’t need a person, of that I’m sure. But when I find someone I really like, I give it a shot. I don’t talk myself out of it. Everything is uncertain until you mark places on the map that you’ve been. I try not to talk about him too much. I don’t know where the point of this went. I just wanted to say that I love and adore you. You’ve pretty much been the person I’ve looked up to since I met you. Well, after I got passed the ugly shoes. Which now that I think about them, I think I’ve grown fond of. I fall from grace repeatedly, I do things over and over and still go to you and get the same words and you put up with me. You, madam, are a wonderful person. I honestly can’t wait till you find someone worthy of your affections. I told you in 8th grade that you seem like the person to meet your person in college, and I kind of stand by that. I kinda just want you to level up while you’re still with me. Up your EXP and all. College comes soon, and I’ll loose you for months at a time or something like. I won’t get to be there for the things you go through, and you’ll find a person who will understand you more and be into the same things you are and be smart like you and everything. You and I are some soggy ass puzzle pieces that fit together by chance. You’re the smarts, and I’m the.. Well, I can organize things pretty well. But I adore that. I guess I’m kinda scared. Losing you is the last thing I want to happen. We are some lazy fucks. We’ll be lucky to see each other ever after college starts. I think I just talked myself into being sad. Um. I’mma go now. This was supposed to say that I hope I don’t annoy you too hard with my relationshipness. I’m happy. And no, I don’t want to analyze with you the whole boys and him and concept of anything. I don’t want to over analyze and talk myself out of being happy. lmao. I think I’ve done that before. No thinking for now. c:

Currently 1,055 miles from home (Steubensville, Ohio), on Sunday (tomorrow) I’m going to be 955 miles from home (Washington, DC) at 2:35pm (one hour flight) and then from there (3:15pm) I’ll go into Tampa (5:30pm). I don’t know if they’re picking me up to drive to Winter Haven or what, though. Flying all by my lonesome. B’aw.